hmmm

Just to post a not so clear blog, I'll blog journal style. I too, feel at times....the pressure to post a blog when my mind has a certain amount of clarity....as to not baffle or add to others' confusion in life. haha.....while reading a fellow blogger's page today we had a small discussion about this.

I'll just write here, to remind myself of things....as a meditation of sorts.
If my life was great, if i were a pretty boy who didn't have any inclination to question himself because he never had to, if things were easier.......I probably would not have gained interest in Eastern thought. For my life, Zen and the like.....the teachings that help us cut to the core of it without giving a belief that we "must" believe to gain a heaven or something. ....these things have kept me alive i think. There are many drugs out there that I was headed to abuse. So, Zen and the like has a different quality of meaning for myself. We all create a different sense of meaning, because its our story we're telling ourselves. I am telling myself a story all the time. That is "one hand clapping." The reason i say it that way is because there is a saying, "beware the one hand clapping," that is referring to only hearing one side of a story/issue.

• The reason we read or study zen or anything....sometimes we miss the reason because we're separating our intentions of studying the teachings......and our intentions studying ourselves. We don't catch that separation...because its subtle. So, remaining in the background is a set of unseen/unwatched/unstudied intentions. Do we study the teachings to make us feel better? Do we study ourselves to catch the things that we get hung up on? What are we looking for? Are we looking for something in the future? Or are we with the things in this moment? I say that we're all fighting to pay attention in our own lives and that's enough to worry about......studying our own self is enough.
  

We live and we learn. Live........then reflect.......live some more........then reflect.
Here are some human things about me:
I still complain about women and how fickle they are in WV. How they pick the jerks and shrug off men who treat them nice/decent. I still get involved in arguing about politics. ....especially about this health care issue. I have researched for many hours and have concluded what Wendell Potter has said, but didn't have to tell me. Although, hearing it from him excites the heck out of me. yes, I'm for a public option! I also get frustrated with Mormonism, Christian "vanity plate" syndrome(people calling themselves xians but not trying to live up to it, instead just decide falling short and saying they're saved and christian is enough to go around running their mouth about everyone else...looking down their nose at everyone). I fight to get inspired.....maybe I should just take the baby steps I've mentioned before. My discipline is out the window at this point, so its going to be a great uphill battle. However, with the many teachings, insights, and friends to mirror and share in my life....i think i can change my life and get back momentum. Things are different these days.

In the end, I know that all these things are dust bunnies.....but its our job to tend to It while we're here. Take care, start over from where you are any time....the present moment is all we ever have. Just keep starting over if need be.

Zazen and UUC short post

I'm thinking of starting a sitting zazen practice soon. Also, there is a local mediation circle that I might check out. I think I need to meet different kinds of people, and I've never been to this place or the UUC(Unitarian Universalist Congregation). I've heard nice things about both. The UUC is very socially conscious and active in community.

I won't abandon old friends, but hopefully will make new ones. Its not always easy to meet folks who are into Eastern thought or what not...

Interviewed UK myspace friend about universal health care

Just today, I messaged a UK myspace musician friend asking about the NHS and his feelings about the necessity for universal access to medical care for citizens of his country. He obliged and I'm very happy to share. My questions weren't great, but I greatly appreciated him taking the time to answer them.

He copied my questions just above his answers:

Jeremy!
Happy to oblige. Im not particularly right or left wing, so heres ny views for what they are worth:


1. Can you tell me, (i'll pass it on) how you feel about your health care system? pros & cons?


Ok its not bad. It used to be a lot lot better, tho, but now we have so many illegal immigrants in the country or legal ones from Europe who dont pay taxes as they are unemployed, theres not enough contributions going into it. So in recent years treatments and service has fallen. However, when your ill, get injured, suffer with something....its great not having to worry about paying for treatment.



2. Also, could you explain how it feels to know that your country takes care of everyone(whether or not they have money), when it comes to medical needs?


I think I feel proud of our country for it. However, illegal immigrants shouldnt get treated and I dont think immigrants from other countries who have paid less than a years taxes into our fund should get free treatment....



3. Do you feel Universal Health Care for everyone is necessary for the well-being of the country overall??


Yes



4. Do you have any suggestions on how to sell the idea of an NHS in the US?


Nope....
(end of his reply)
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I can see where illegal immigration would take a toll on the money.....but.....Universal Health Care(single payer) or at the very least this public option(not free) they're talking about would be one step closer by giving everyone access to buying health insurance and competing to pressure private insurance(less care/more profit) companies to lower their prices. We already have socialist programs, and for us to be scared of becoming nazis or commies over taking care of each other's medical issues is ridiculous. We have public schools, SOCIAL security, medicare, unemployment benefits, ....you name it.....it could be called socialist. I could argue that churches & their collection plate are socialist. I could argue that our tax system is socialist. If we didn't have the tax system in place, we'd be in trouble. We're interdependent.......no matter what the "haves" tell us, we need each other. They use the "S" word to distract and shut down the debate. We have to decide whether we're all in the same boat or whether we believe some people should die because we weren't fortunate enough to be born rich or in a family that has access to insurance. If we keep the "pick yourself up by your own bootstraps" attitude, our country will stay divided and FALL. Sometimes we have to pick each other up.............we need either a public option or the better(but most difficult) idea, universal health care. A public option would help a lot.....but the only reason people feel safer with it, is because its not the full universal health care. If it were full universal, the politicans who are making money for campaigns from Health Insurance companies, they'd throw such a fit.......and fill people with so much MISINFORMATION, it would be hell. So, it may take a while, maybe even quite a few years.....who knows? It will happen...because the ethic of taking care of our neighbors is in many religious traditions and with each generation, the young will see hypocrisy and inconsitency and perfect this union....................................hopefully.

I may be back with more questions and answers from the same UK fellow.

PS - watch the movie "Sicko"! I can't say it enough.

i am humanity i am the world

When we give up on humanity, we create a self-fulfilling prophecy of sorts because we then behave in ways that supports humanity failing. I wrote this earlier today to myself and thought I'd throw it up here. I need reminded of this daily.

I am "humanity"....because humanity is relationship and I'm a part of that. With this said...here's a famous quote that goes along with this.

"Be the change you want to see in the world."-----Gandhi

Each Thought/Action Is What We Offer The World

Every thought and action, no matter how private, is what we're offering the world, the universe, .......in this epic.

No matter how private your thoughts, they are your offerings to everything else. We may think about ourselves, how to improve ourselves, how to accumulate things around us, but any and all thoughts & actions are what we are offering the world, even if only in a round about way. You and I are both part of this universal epic.....its story...and we're not separate from it. We're in it. We are IT. We can react according to our programming or we can be aware and find choice to let go of petty reactions not based on a "universal perspective," so to speak.

In our culture we've been taught that we don't make a difference in the world at large. We've been taught that we can live private individual lives and not make a difference. We've been taught to only aim low & fall into the mold set up by society for us...and nothing else, nothing more...and even what we consider nothing less. I'm not saying that we have to aim high, I'm just pointing out that we've been manipulated and managed by traditional thinking and now we have a chance to see.

We are programmed, yes.....but we are also programmers. We are part of the program that has woke up enough to "see the coding" and change it by finding the choice. We have the responsibility, if we choose to accept it, to watch out for others around us who are still trapped in the sleep of traditional programming. Sorry, more matrix references..ha!

Everything that's ever happened in this universe added up to this moment....where you're reading this....

I write to myself as much anyone who happens to read this.

freedom from fear of death is Liberating

Great Movie!!!

Grain, water, & house of mirrors

[(just finished this real quick like, but wrote it a while back)This is probably just like spoken word stuff...it doesn't rhyme much if at all.]

Sand
No expectations
a grown child looks

grains of sand and space in between
room to be

Who's to say?
no one to ask
no one to answer

emerging linear ingredients
subject, object, observer
can "seeing" be seen?
or is it the effortless action used by thought?

grains and water mingle to create a stream
a map,
a separate meaning in the corner of a seam

freedom is already there
you are the master
thought says otherwise
in the present is when it does so

one grain has no relationship, no continuity with any other thought
unless we think it
language is a tool

house of mirrors & smoke swallows up space

we don't know, but what we do know is fog on the inside of the window

its from where we keep talking & thinking inside here....and then we can't see

relax, be vulnerable, open up...........realize you're the only ONE and so am i

we are the universe expressing itself and even that's a guess put into terms of modern culture.

its the journey, not necessarily the destination because everything is subject to change.

It's the goggles we're wearing that matters most. Remind me of this!

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And now, Three lyrical quotes from Andrew Bird

"Nomenclature's washing away
Oh it's washing us all away"

"it was anything but hear the voice
that says that we're all basically alone"

"you can't be found when the bell rings
you weren't there that day for the naming of things"