babbleGum may 1st

When things have been going good.....and then when things go bad, you ever notice how quickly our perception of people change? It hasn't happened to me lately, but i do remember how easily it happens when you're angry,upset,sad,depressed, tired...and all that. It's like they shapeshift.........in our minds. What we liked about them before, changes? I think we've all felt this, but people don't talk about it really....as a shared experience in life.

When things are going good.....its allgood...things are easy...we have the energy to keep up, we have the space to see. We love everything....we understand everything....its easy to be a duck and let the water roll off our backs... I wonder if the reason we avoid talking about this...is because part of our programming implies that we are a solid entity and not layers of patterns...like an onion. Maybe each layer has its roots in different emotional or neutral response vats. So we might develop expectations of ourselves and others....of being consistently solid....smooth....always easy going....human beings. Or something like that anyway...lol.

When things are going crappy.......we don't want to hear any positivity..or anyone trying to be positive. We just want time to be alone, to be left alone and we expect people to understand that..to read our minds at times, because we know our energies are tied up in a knot at the moment, and we might produce negative energy that we don't want to be associated with or have someone think "that's who we are." Again, because we think people are one personality with no layers of contradictory patterns....but we do have those layers, usually.

Sometimes our perception grabs it and turns their positivity into "preaching"....and BS.....and possibly talking down their nose when "they don't know my situation." We don't want anyone with a flashlight shining up our rear ends....trying to help us either...because it makes us feel like an issue or it makes us look like we don't know ourselves better than others or something.

I'm not saying anything is right or wrong....in that way. I'm just talking about how when things go to crap.......many of us are subject to mutation in perception. So, the expectation(s) we have of ourselves and others.....might need to be looked over, reviewed to see whether they're realistic and understanding. I guess I really shouldn't even expect this to make sense to everyone....my blogging style sucks.

I personally think that people interested in deep thinking/eastern thought,etc. are folks who've been through a lot.....and have felt pain. There may be the fortunate ones who have big sensitive hearts and haven't went through as much, but they do have a great capacity for empathy. We're all the ones who question the software of our culture....we're on our own journeys of discovery...to free ourselves from our pain, and to help others when we can along the way.

The roles we take on in life....keep us busy, don't give us time to be alone. Being alone, is sometimes good. Sometimes its helpful to also be around people, to socialize/mingle. Mingling is under-rated. When we're alone a lot or around the same people all the time, we might forget others are battling their own troubles and dealing with them in their own way. We notice how they deal with it..and then see how we are dealing with our own problems and issues.

I have nothing to offer anyone........only my words, my thoughts, as some sort of mirror.......of humanity. You may see my errors, and correct your own or avoid making the ones I've made. You may also see something that helps, and expand on it.