ghostwriter I and nature's board game EDITED

Thought Ghostwriter creating the "I" = "man behind the curtain" (wizard of oz reference)
Our thoughts are the ghostwriter for the symbol/idea we have of ourselves. Even the idea we have of ourselves is written by one of the many incarnations of the "thought ghostwriter." Only, if you have an experience during meditation or have a psychedelic experience, you may find that the "man behind the curtain" is just another curtain of thought itself. Living in our culture, it becomes really difficult to keep these insights close enough to remind oneself to stay on the path. That's why its important to have people you can talk with, chat with online or send emails......OR write & post index cards up on your wall as I mentioned in my last post. We need reminders in this game we're plugged into. Just remember......try to relax, don't panic, remain calm, keep breathing, have a good time, enjoy yourselves, ENJOY YOUR STAY. :)

Nature's Board Game getting out of hand
(from an email I sent to a friend-edited for blog)
It's like society itself is a game where we all agree on the rules of engagement and jump in when we feel like it. It's all a part of nature....but I think those who wake up from it, no matter how much....and realize they have a responsibility, these people share the responsibility of being the "anti-virus" of thought/emotion/action coding[in nature]. Maybe even as an "anti-biotic" to the thought viruses already in progress in our collective consciousness. "How" is the big question. It might just be a matter of mindfulness and being alive/aware and present in the present moment like so many philosophers have talked about throughout history.

I've been listening to Thich Nhat Hanh at night. His emphasis is on being present, not getting angry, not giving into anger.....not believing in Buddha nature as something that someone else has but you can't have it. He talked about Buddha nature as compassion, understanding and so on....not something mystical [or untouchable]. He talked about how these traits, these ABILITIES(I'm paraphrasing)...these abilities of thought/emotion management that the Buddhas had/have are something anyone can bring about in their own life. "If the Buddha can do it, we can do it."....is how he said it. I don't expect myself to be an undisturbed person right off.....or even overnight. The purpose would be to not reinforce or add to the cycles of patterns of reactions that are already in the world. [The purpose would also be to add healthy and positive habits, actions, reactions that nurture peace and understanding in the collective consciousness. That way its not only about focusing on mistakes/negative habits, but it's also about putting into practice the positive habits,etc. Being mindful of expectations we have is important.]

I was thinking a lot about anger....and how anger makes a person weak, not in control of his or her own mind/actions. It's a big emotion...a common emotion.....even in the animal kingdom. What separates us from the animals is that we can wake up from it....and transcend the coding of thought(culture/tradition/upbringing).

Not everyone shares these views, but that's all right. Even though one might have them today, tomorrow might become too busy and sweep us right back up into the job, relationship, or whatever role that demands our attention.

EDIT: Added a comma after "Only"! Commas can make a difference in how things are read!!

EDITED bread crumbs to find your way home

I have been busy lately. My mind has been in and out of being caught up in old patterns of thinking mixed with the new, more positive patterns....so it sometimes seems I'm all over the map. You'll have that. :)

So, anyway....I have these 3x5 index cards taped to a wall in my bedroom. I try to post things up there that bring my thinking, my base immediately back to a more "centered" and calm state...so to speak. Things have been a little busier and confusing lately. As I walked out of my room earlier, I glanced up at one of my writings on the wall...no pun intended. It said, "EVERY experience is a resource." It was almost as if someone else wrote it. It was as if someone else had left that index card for me to wake up again to myself living by unhealthy patterned thinking. It was like a "bread crumb" left by myself for myself to find the way home.

Keep your writings(or anyone else's) where you can be reminded by yourself.....& find the way home. We find that great centered maturity over and over again....and then we slip and fall back sometimes again and again. Really, there is no one who stays in a state of "ism."
We are as we do.

Thich Nhat Hanh video

"...sit like a mountain, and breathe like a flower..."
"..love is an attempt to understand someone.."
"Every morning, when we wake up, we have twenty-four brand new hours to live."

A bird in hand

The Titmouse and the empty peanut shell

The Titmouse and the empty peanut shell(inspired earlier this morning during backyard bird/chipmunk feeding session)

I threw an empty peanut shell halve to a titmouse(bird)

once it realized the shell was empty it simply sat it down

and went back to attention

back to resume beginner's mind

it didn't throw a fit

it didn't raise a fuss

it simply sat it down

it let go of the empty shell and moved on

it didn't get out of shape over its expectations of what should've been in the shell

it just waited for me to throw a peanut....just as it did the first time

my toying with the idea of possibility

(insomnia inspired - telling myself the things below)
Possibility

i think about possibility
possibility got us this far in our collective/social evolution
it allowed for those moments of connection and growth in humanity's relationship
ending of slavery, civil rights, social justice movements...

it allowed for those moments of union, brotherhood
in those moments of kindness and unconditional love from family/friends/lovers

it brought us here
it allowed for infinite number of outcomes...

life is open

We think the worst sometimes to prepare ourselves from falling, from being disappointed
Why not imagine the possibility of not getting our way...and not falling down from that or being disappointed?

possibility allows for horrible moments, but look at how much more has worked out
this outweighs the small amount that didn't


life is open

its wide open....

We tell ourselves that things are bound/preparing for the worst to protect ourselves from ALLOWING OURSELVES TO FALL...as if we're two separate people in one. One part of our psyche desires an outcome, while the other part ALLOWS the fall from perceived failure as correct response based on traditional thinking. We don't have to allow ourselves to fall at all, but its easier said than done to avoid it.

possibility got us here....imagine what can be, if all of this is possible
focus on possibility in all areas of life......don't give up.......bounce everytime if you can get yourself to and remember to do so.

hmmm

Just to post a not so clear blog, I'll blog journal style. I too, feel at times....the pressure to post a blog when my mind has a certain amount of clarity....as to not baffle or add to others' confusion in life. haha.....while reading a fellow blogger's page today we had a small discussion about this.

I'll just write here, to remind myself of things....as a meditation of sorts.
If my life was great, if i were a pretty boy who didn't have any inclination to question himself because he never had to, if things were easier.......I probably would not have gained interest in Eastern thought. For my life, Zen and the like.....the teachings that help us cut to the core of it without giving a belief that we "must" believe to gain a heaven or something. ....these things have kept me alive i think. There are many drugs out there that I was headed to abuse. So, Zen and the like has a different quality of meaning for myself. We all create a different sense of meaning, because its our story we're telling ourselves. I am telling myself a story all the time. That is "one hand clapping." The reason i say it that way is because there is a saying, "beware the one hand clapping," that is referring to only hearing one side of a story/issue.

• The reason we read or study zen or anything....sometimes we miss the reason because we're separating our intentions of studying the teachings......and our intentions studying ourselves. We don't catch that separation...because its subtle. So, remaining in the background is a set of unseen/unwatched/unstudied intentions. Do we study the teachings to make us feel better? Do we study ourselves to catch the things that we get hung up on? What are we looking for? Are we looking for something in the future? Or are we with the things in this moment? I say that we're all fighting to pay attention in our own lives and that's enough to worry about......studying our own self is enough.
  

We live and we learn. Live........then reflect.......live some more........then reflect.
Here are some human things about me:
I still complain about women and how fickle they are in WV. How they pick the jerks and shrug off men who treat them nice/decent. I still get involved in arguing about politics. ....especially about this health care issue. I have researched for many hours and have concluded what Wendell Potter has said, but didn't have to tell me. Although, hearing it from him excites the heck out of me. yes, I'm for a public option! I also get frustrated with Mormonism, Christian "vanity plate" syndrome(people calling themselves xians but not trying to live up to it, instead just decide falling short and saying they're saved and christian is enough to go around running their mouth about everyone else...looking down their nose at everyone). I fight to get inspired.....maybe I should just take the baby steps I've mentioned before. My discipline is out the window at this point, so its going to be a great uphill battle. However, with the many teachings, insights, and friends to mirror and share in my life....i think i can change my life and get back momentum. Things are different these days.

In the end, I know that all these things are dust bunnies.....but its our job to tend to It while we're here. Take care, start over from where you are any time....the present moment is all we ever have. Just keep starting over if need be.