mixed bag of topics--breaking things down a little

FLAWS
I had a talk the other night with a friend. She said she'd be the first to admit she was flawed. I understood what she meant, and I've said this countless times myself. I was tired that night, and tried to explain my views on all that....I don't think I explained very well, but thought maybe I'd try to write a blog instead.

It's a given that any "flaw" is relative to some point of view...and points of view are limited. On one level, when it comes to standards of society, ideals, etc.....we're all flawed by comparison with those abstractions and concepts in the board game of modern life(society/culture). Our personalities, & our thoughts may be flawed. Then if we compare our bodies with others, we might find flaws that we don't like. So, we have the mind flaws and body flaws....that are all relative to standards and ideas of "what should be." So, we're striving to match up with that ideal, and we say, "I am flawed." We are only flawed, when we compare....then there is the element of time that comes in. The space between how things are now........and how you think they should be.

I understand that there are facts that when we see they "should be" changed,...maybe they should be. I'm not arguing with that. My point is that if we live our whole lives, not seeing the other side of this game.....this game of comparing, then we're living fully in the game, without feeling the freedom from the rules that we are unconsciously agreeing to live in. Our reality becomes limited to the rules of the game,....and we see no other way, but to react, compare, match up, define ourselves by society's terms, and all that stuff0rz.

I know that one ideal, is to admit that I have flaws.....so people know that I know that I have flaws and don't think that I think that I'm better than anyone else.....man, I'm out of breath with that one..lol. I'm not saying this is wrong or right....because that's relative too, to a point of view(eye of the beholder).....I'm just pointing out this thought pattern, that's all. But we've got to sell ourselves, and tell people how we think, and so that's one line that I use myself. Many use it. We're making the best of our situation, and i love it!! :) In each moment, we create ourselves from memory...sustaining our version of reality...like the hard drive and RAM and processor. Some of us might need to update our Bios...hardy har har. *sigh*....at least I can make myself laugh.

ABSOLUTE INNOCENCE
The vulnerability and fragility of everything and everyone, is difficult to see. To see absolute innocence in everything and everyone is difficult to see. If you ever get a glimpse of it, it's something else. Of course, most of us want to identify with "being strong" and to not let ourselves be vulnerable by seeing the innocence because it's perceived as weakness. We also, remind ourselves of what we might look like...."no, I don't want to come off that way." We remember others in our lives who might have talked that way, and they might have seemed off a little, so we don't want to identify with anything associated with their ideas....geez. We really put ourselves in a bind don't we? I've been there for sure. I read someone's blog, he mentioned how we dont' seem to take spiritual advice unless it comes from superman. I'd like to add, that we seem to quote a lot of famous people.....but I've seen quotes from regular unknown folks like yourselves....that were just as good as famous folks on the scale of "summing up things."

Anyway, to see the innocence, helps us forgive and forget.....but it doesn't mean to let ourselves become a welcome mat. It also, allows us to forgive ourselves......all around inner peace may blossom.....even if its only until the next challenge appears. :)

BEATING OURSELVES UP over our ideals
Another issue is that one issue where we "beat ourselves up" when we make a mistake. Society wants us to do this....to show we're upset with our actions. I'm 31, and I'd say my entire life I'd beat myself up over things....I have been harder on myself than I've been on anyone else.

I found that my reaction to beat myself up was partly guilt/worry of not thinking of others or not thinking/doing the right thing somehow. I know I wouldn't want anyone hurt on my behalf.....so there would naturally be concern for others. Sometimes there'd be something not so much a big deal, and I'd still be blowing it out of proportion, beating myself up, so other people around me knew I was an idealist/serious principled guy and was genuine and meant it....I punished myself for the sake of my ideals.....lol. Geez. Now, I realize that I put myself under a lot of stress and that ideals can be communicated in other ways. If I hadn't taken up meditation, studying Eastern philosophies, and just talking to people with an interest in soaking up things (when I'd remember to),....my life would be different. I'd be drinking, or on drugs....or in a major depression with no way of loosening the ideas, definitions, that we live by in our culture/society. My life would be 100% lost in the rules of the game.

I wish you all well on your very own unique paths. Enjoy it when you can remember to do so. I'll do the same. :) I thank you for reading!