bAbble gum & a poem thAng

From day to day, I am as I do....never finished. I am not finished "becoming"..... and we never really "become"(in the sense we'd like-forever!)...even though we try. We are "as we do." I am a ripple...in the waters of an empty bucket. It's all happening, and the "me" is just another part of experience......the "me" is not actually doing anything. Thought leads the way, and rewards or blames a projected character KNOWN as the "me." It is something added....if you are aware of "you" then what is it that's aware of "you"? (infinite regression) The terrain of thought patterns known like any other place.......like paint on the walls of memory. It's all just happening. ....we know not what we do....innocence engulfing the universe totally/completely. Can awareness become aware of awareness......or can it only be aware of objects of awareness? What is awareness? We know that the "objects" include everything from an itch, thoughts, emotions, a rock on the ground, other people, the universe, and even the feeling I have of my "self." If everything I'm aware of is an object of awareness including my self and also all the thoughts surrounding that feeling of the self.....then how can "I" be an object of awareness.....if it includes the "I" that is saying it? There is simply thought thinking..then the act of saying.....then thought projecting the "I" as the sayer when needed to project it. We're taught to create ownership. "Me/that's minez...." That's a conceptual thing.....but if you ran into a tribe in a jungle that didn't have a concept of "mine" but instead had a group concept....that it was all the group's not just one individual.....they might not understand "mine." Aha!

If you can see your self in your mind's eye in any way, shape, or form....as an object of awareness, just like everything else is an object of awareness then how can it, alone or otherwise, be who you are(present tense)? If you "know" yourself.....remember that what is known is memory. You are projecting what you know about yourself in the present moment in the form of a self image. That image is what you're taught to add/subtract from in society's board game(self worth). I'm babbling....take all this with a grain of salt...or pepper, whatever floats your tongue. ;)

Here's a poem thing I wrote tonight:
When my sugar is right, the eagle takes flight, doesn't leave a trace in the sky
when I'm feeling healthy, I'm already wealthy, it isn't a matter of money really

A suitcase I carry 'round, no bricks with bounds, doesn't mean I don't ever cry
A real case among the birds, singing notes as whole words, it isn't the same everywhere

Some memories feel like they're someone elses.
and there are only so many words to use as pointers.